Chasing The Lion

I have really been extremely busy this week and this weekend. Each year, our youth come together for an entire weekend of Bible study fun called, Disciple Now. We have such a talented group of people who have great imaginations, with each years theme and every year they come up with a phenomenal weekend for our youth, and this year was no exception. The Bible study for this weekend was based on this verse:

Benaiah chased a lion down into a pit. Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it. 2 Samuel 23:20

Powerful lesson for our youth and for adults alike.

Of course, this is a weekend that I help out with and really enjoy it. Last night there was a murder mystery and I was the wife of the dearly departed. "He was a good man and I loved him, even though I suspect he was having an affair with his secretary." Here are a few pictures of the crime scene.

See my picture on the floor.....his secretary smashed it....that little tart!

Needless to say, it was a good time had by all!

Now speaking of chasing lions, there is a lion chasing me. I am emotionally, physically and spiritually worn out. As of late, I do not speak of my family issues on my blog. My family reads it and I just do not want my feelings out there for them to use against me. I am to the point that I really do not care if they know and use how I feel to their advantage, I just need prayer, in a mighty, strong, powerful way. Yesterday, the devil ran wild and had a hay day and today, I am nearing the end of my rope.

There was a death in my family on Thursday, very special, wonderful woman, my aunt. I know my dad's hearts is breaking, as is mine. I was so scared to call him, and timing was not right every time I went to pick up the phone. When I called yesterday, It did not go well, I guess I should of called Thursday. Family rifts are tough, when a death is thrown in, they are impossible.

Y'all, I just can't take it anymore. I've made a decision, I will not be the daughter they want and in no way will I ever be capable of turning back to the anger and bitterness that I was living in. What is so strange I forgave one to be hated and isolated by another. I just do not understand. I will no longer try and really I made the decision on the 1st of this month that I was in fact done trying. I know this sounds heartless and oh so unchristian, but I can not be where I need to be spiritually fighting this battle. I see that we will no agree with my decisions, and I pray that I/we will be able to move past it. I look forward to the day I will spend in heaven and this will be over. My dad will be proud of the decisions I made and will not be blinded by his hate and bitterness. But with that being said, it is not an easy road to take.

Today's post was going to about my exciting news that I had, but looks like the devil is not to thrilled with it. Maybe that is why I am so discourage, he thinks he is winning, but beyond my sadness I refuse to let him get that foot in the door. Lots do not have the passion that I have for missions, and with that being said, I do have that passion. So there is a little glimpse into what I was going to share. I am going to share later, when I can throw my full heart into it.

Until then, please be in prayer for me and my family. Pray for our decisions, our passion and the spiritual war that is being thrown our way. Pray for my strength, because it is truly fading and lastly, I am so tired of crying, I want to be strong and move past this without so many tears. I have such a headache from crying and I just want to be frustrated without tears!

Thanks so much!