Focus Of Thanksgivng

Okay, it is officially the day after Thanksgiving, and to be more specific, Black Friday. No shopping for us today, we will spend one more day with our family before they head back home.

It has been a wonderful day, a few "oh no's" here and there, so let me throw a bullet or two in here to explain:

• Hubby is sick, really bad sinus garbage, and really didn't have the thankfulness thing going on.
• Forgot to put poultry seasoning in the dressing, so it was a tad bland.
• Two of the kids broke out in a fight today, so mom had to throw a mini melt down.
• Two runs to the store to get things we forgot for our Thanksgiving feast.
• Lack of love from some made sad moments today.

I know what you're thinking, geeze, here it is the day after Thanksgiving and this girl is complaining. No, I am not complaining, I just thought I would share with you the unfortunate before the really good stuff.

So, here is me, really liking the bullet thing, so here are the things I want to share that touched my heart today:

• Hubby, even though he was sick, was here, not working, as he usually has to on Thanksgiving.
• Family that was here, and I mean really here, for us, in every way that mattered.
• The kids playing and having a good time.
• Beautiful weather.
• Games and laughter.
• Dressing that was lacking in the taste department.

It's late here and everyone has just headed off to bed, but me. Tonight, we sat around the table and talked about our country, God, church and the mission trip that I went on this summer. I can't seem to get that out of my mind.

Tough times. Raw emotions. Uncertainties. The unknown. Heartache. Weariness. This could go on and on, and sometimes I can get so worked up and expect things to happen and they do not. So I tend to be pessimistic and upset and get hard on myself.

Tonight, after the long day of festivities and really comes down to me. I expected something to happen today, it didn't. For a while I was throwing myself a small pity party for one. You know something?? I need to get over that, so I did and I moved on. There are more important things in life to focus on and tonight, I am moving forward.

My heart is heavy and not for the garbage of my family. I am moving on from that. I am missing the focus of my ministry of missions. It has been 124 days since we have been home from our mission trip to the Dominican. What has happened in 124 days?

Tough times, raw emotions, uncertainties, the unknown, heartache, weariness. What should of been happening in the 124 day since our trip? Not that!!

I was telling Jenny & Brad tonight about a women I met when I was in the Dominican. Her name was Juanita, and I had built a relationship with her and could not wait until Thursday when I would have the chance to make a visit to her home and get to meet her husband, her children and see where she lived. I could hardly wait to catch that glimpse into her life.

Our interpreter took me to a home and instead of the Juanita I had spent three days with, I met another Juanita. She was very shy and withdrawn, not the Juanita I knew but another Juanita. I was a little disappointed because I really wanted to visit the women that I made the connection with, but God really needed me to meet her. The visit was great and I told her I would be back the next day to bring her a Bible because she did not have one.

I didn't get to go back to her home the next day and I was so upset. I remember pulling out of the village on that Friday afternoon so heart broken that I did not get to see her. I did give her Bible the Juanita that I made the connection with and she promised to get it to her, but still it was not the same.

So where am I going with this? I have focus back. Strange, because just a few hours ago, I was depressed, wallowing in self pity, selfish and downright ugly. I am ashamed.

Here I am in my home, surrounded by family, the people that care and love me. Food on my table, seasoned correctly or not, I have food. Drinkable water. Heat, electricity, a shower with hot water.

What about those precious people that I met this summer, where were they today? Were they throwing themselves a pity party?

These people I met this summer have nothing, but they are so happy, grateful and most importantly thankful. Thankful to God, thankful because we came after praying for 13 years for Him to send somebody, anybody. Where was I 13 years ago? Have I ever prayed earnestly for anything for 13 days much least 13 years?

Tonight I am thankful that I was able to spend 9 days with people that are not so wrapped up in life that they miss out on everything that is important.

Today, I am thankful for not what I do not have, but for what I do.

Thank you God, for my blessings. Big or small, today or 13 years from now, Thank you for loving me. Thank you for sending me to the Dominican to meet Juanita, both of them. Thank you for allowing her to have a Bible, even though I could not give it to her, she was able to receive it from a dear woman that I was able to meet and make a connection with. A woman that loves the Lord so much, that reassured me that she would get that Bible to this woman for me. That's the most important thing. Planting seeds for You. That is where the focus should be.

Happy Thanksgiving,