Surreal

Tonight I am sitting in a trauma waiting room with my cousin.  Her MIL was in a car accident on Saturday and has not been doing very well.   I came up to visit on Wednesday and again today.  I hate hospitals and the unknowns that come along with a tragic accident and felt that someone needed to be with my ‘cuz  during the evening hours so she would not have to be by herself in case anything happened. 

It’s a sad place to be.  I have never seen the inside workings of a trauma area…the machines, the patients and the sounds can be overwhelming.   I think the most unsettling thing to wrap my brain around is the unknown.  This place makes it so surreal how fragile life is….how temporary our time on earth can be.   I take life for granted.

I need to start living for the day, the moment.  Life can throw curve balls and over the past months and even longer I have not been handing those curve balls to well.  I have been letting situations get to me and actually get the better of me and have way to much control over my life.  I sit here typing this telling myself that I am going to not let situations control my life and I laugh, because I know I will let them get the better of me.  Then I look around at loved ones sitting in a waiting room holding vigil over loved ones who life hang in balance.  They are not sitting here worrying about silly situations in their day to day life.  They are sitting here praying for their loved ones to come through the ordeal that has brought them to this waiting room. 

I should be living as each day could be my last…

Tonight I was walking out of the house with my bag in hand, I called out to the boys and told them I loved them, I am thankful that I got to hear my kids tell me they loved me back.  My husband walked me out to the Jeep…I loved that tender moment when he kissed me goodbye, because you never know.   Sitting here I realize those moments are so precious and should not be taken for granted….ever.  Tonight I am thankful for life, and I am thankful for the reminder to love my hubby and boys like there is no tomorrow.